Flight #12

We were slightly majorly delayed heading back to Newark last night for a round of doctor appointments and tests in New York today and tomorrow. As usual [knock on wood] Kai flew well, even after an aborted takeoff, hanging out in the airport for a few more hours while the plane was fixed, and reboarding the plane hours after her normal bedtime. I was amazed and relieved that she made it all that time without any cranky episodes. Remember, this is the loudest baby that our daycare has ever encountered.

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So what’s on the agenda in New York this week? Any new information?

No new information. A pretty packed agenda though.

This morning I will get loaded up with radioactive glucose to have a PET scan done. Between nerves and fasting since midnight, I’m sure that I am delightful to be around right now. The fasting is so that any cancer cells, who have faster metabolism than normal cells, can go to town on that radioactive glucose and show up extra bright on the scan.

I’m irrationally scared of being PET scanned because, over and over again, I have played out the scenario in my mind where they scan me and the whole thing lights up. Not likely, but terrifying nonetheless. It is silly to let me get to myself that way. Fortunately, going back to work this week has been a very good thing. I’m one of those people who is lucky enough to like my job and like my co-workers, so going to work was a welcome distraction from my nonstop Googling.

Perhaps the most disappointing part of the day’s events is being slightly radioactive for the rest of the day. I am supposed to avoid contact with children and pregnant women, so holding Kai, or even getting close to her, is a no-no right now. Fortunately, I have plenty of people to help with Kai. Unfortunately, I am convinced that I am like the Supreme Master of Kaicare. Obviously there is nobody else as capable.

Um, right. So she survives daycare day in and day out. Even perfect strangers seem to do it just fine.

Today I will also meet with another surgeon. Not surprisingly, it is pretty sketchy to open up someone’s upper chest. It turns out that there is a lot of important and easily damaged stuff in there. I don’t know for sure at this point (I should have asked) but I think I am being shuffled between different types of surgeons so that they can compare approaches and decide who can access this mass in my chest in the safest way possible.

Finally, tomorrow I will have another, hopefully conclusive, biopsy done. Unfortunately, there are two things working against me on this one. First, the tumor is difficult to access well enough to get lots of cells to analyze. Second, if we are talking Hodgkin’s lymphoma here, the cells needed to type it are very large cells called Reed-Sternberg cells. It sounds like they are not all that likely to be picked up with a fine needle aspiration which is what I am having done.

What does all of this mean?

Well, the PET scan should give us an idea of how much of this we are dealing with and where it is located, the biopsy may or may not tell us what the ‘this‘ is, and the surgeon may or may not feel good about opening me up. I have a feeling that the surgeon is the only one who will yield any meaningful immediate feedback.

It sounds strange to say this, but I am really looking forward to finding out the what and the how much. I will be able to reallocate my Google time to more productive searches and can hopefully focus on a real scenario, not multiple worst case ones.

Hopefully my mom is having as good of luck with Kai today as I did on her twelfth flight last night!

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13 comments
  1. branny said:

    I think thinking about your this morning. Are you in any sort of pain or discomfort? Lots of love. b

    • Brit said:

      Thank you. No, I’m totally asymptomatic. The craziest part is that I feel completely normal right now but that my treatment will most likely make me feel terrible.

  2. Thinking of you and your little family 🙂 Best wishes on your biopsy tomorrow.

    • Brit said:

      Thank you! Hopefully I have more news soon!

  3. Kate said:

    You’re in my thoughts. Best of luck tomorrow.

  4. Lisa said:

    Blessings, good luck & good karma, prayers, well wishes: all of this is coming your way. So glad you’ve got a baby who does well on planes!

    • Brit said:

      I know, right? I can’t imagine doing this if she didn’t fly well. I hope she keeps it up.

  5. lifeisbeachykeen said:

    I’ve been thinking about you non-stop; Praying for the best possible outcome – I hope you are able to receive some real answers soon – I obviously don’t know from personal experience – but I know from working for a surgeon that specializes in Gastrointestinal Cancer patients, that not having answers is worse than the actual diagnosis. At least with a diagnosis you can form a plan –

    and OMG Kai is SO stinkin’ cute!! YAY for cute cute cute babies!

    • Brit said:

      Thank you! I’m a big fan of her cuteness! Duh.

      And I agree about the answers thing. I think that it will be easier when there is a plan.

  6. Jen said:

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, good luck tomorrow!

  7. I hope everything is going well…and stay strong! I know that may sound silly but seriously woman, you are amazing! You went through most of your pregnancy in another country, gave birth to what some call the loudest baby ever {just wait until she is 16! ;)} and now you are dealing with all of this unknown. And not just dealing – you are being insanely brave and courageous! I seriously hope that all goes well for you in every way possible!

  8. Tyler said:

    You are such a strong and beautiful woman, you will beat this. No doubt. My thoughts are with you.

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