My Green Monster

a.k.a. Green Radioactive Sludge Smoothie.

Green Monsters are one of those things that you will either love or hate because it takes a certain palate to appreciate emulsified spinach, or worse yet kale, disguised as a (typically sweet) smoothie. I happen to be a proponent of Green Monsters.

It all got started a few summers ago when I first heard about these Shrek-like smoothies and decided to give them a try. At first, I was totally hooked, slurping down the radioactive sludge nearly every day. Eventually I got tired of washing my blender, so the Green Monsterfest subsided.

Let’s face it, scrubbing dried-on spinach out of my blender is not my idea of a good time. I prefer low maintenance meals with little to no cleanup, lazy girl foods. I still cook in Teflon pans (shhh, don’t tell my mother in law!) because if I had to scrub cooked-on food out of stainless steel pans with any frequency I would probably be relegated to daily take-out.

Over time, my relationship with the Green Monster has evolved. Today I tend to only drink Green Monsters when I have something to gain from it. For example, I like to make Green Monsters when I realize that I own half a pound of spinach that is wilted slightly beyond salad goodness and needs to be used ASAP or when our my (Chris is not a banana fan) bananas are getting a bit too mushy and brown to spread peanut butter on.

I have tried many Shrek-smoothie combinations, but this one is probably best for keeping me full and I think it tastes pretty good too!

Ingredients:

  • 8 oz unsweetened original almond milk
  • 3 cups spinach
  • 1 scoop vanilla protein powder
  • 1 banana, frozen (Make sure to peel and slice the banana before freezing…peeling a frozen banana is quite difficult!)
  • 1 tbsp agave nectar (More if you are feeling extra sweet.)
  • splash of vanilla extract

Directions:

  • Add ingredients to a blender. It works best to put the spinach somewhere near the bottom of the mix so that you don’t have to scrape stray spinach leaves off the sides of the blender – I hate to get a spoon dirty if I don’t need to.
  • Pulse several times to break up the frozen banana, then use the liquify setting on your blender if it has one.
  • Serve cold. I sometimes store half of the Monster in my refrigerator for up to a day or so.

Servings ~ 1 – 2
Calories (based on 1 serving/recipe) ~ 403, Fat ~ 5 g, Carbohydrates ~ 69 g, Protein ~ 25 g

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6 comments
  1. lifeisbeachykeen said:

    I haven’t tried the green monsters yet, mostly because I’m lazy. Maybe one day, the recipe sounds yummy though.

    I have 2 frozen, w/ peel on, bananas in the freezer =/ DOH! totally did not think about how I was going to peel them.

    • Brit said:

      Hmmm…I wonder how peeling them will go? In the interest of full disclosure, I have not actually tried to peel a frozen banana. I have just heard that it is really difficult.

    • amelia said:

      i am always to lazy to cut mine before i freeze it… defo pay for it later with frozen hands. my only advice… peel in shifts.

  2. For all my haterade, I should admit that I adore smoothies of almost any kind, and would probably enjoy green monsters as well. (Confession #2: I have had the green monster one from Odwalla several times, and loved it every time… I’m such a fake hater…)

    • Brit said:

      Haha. I had to laugh when you put up your green smoothie hating post because it was just hours after I so carefully (ok, it was morning, not really) photographed my Shrek-for-breakfast.

  3. Lala said:

    You used my favorite ingredients! It’s not common for me to see others include agave and almond milk, but they are staples in my kitchen! I love green smoothies, though I’ve never tried to recreate Naked & Odwalla’s versions. This looks like a good bet!

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